Aug. 12th, 2010

sophie8: (Hiding)
Mark is away at his parents' place. I only saw him on Monday but I'm missing him like crazy. I'm so glad that we're moving in together fairly soon, the missing him thing has got worse and worse over time and I'm just done with it now. I strongly suspect if he hadn't asked me to move in I would have ended things, I just can't deal with my life being that fractured anymore. I'm perfectly happy in my own little bubble and then I see him and it's perfect and then I go back to my little bubble and it's not ok anymore. I miss him like crazy for a week and then I get used to it and I'm ok for a week and then I see him again. And it's a cycle of that. Long distance just doesn't work anymore.

Things for the future are still up in the air, he's still not keen on the kids idea and I have to have a huge spinal surgery with an eighteen month recovery period and that's a lot of pressure. But I think once we're in one place it'll be easier to work out what we both want from each other. And if it doesn't work out then at least we tried. And I won't ever regret the time we've had together. But I'm thinking positively about our future and it feels right to be doing that.

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sophie8

February 2011

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